Good morning!  I promise to report out on the trip to Colorado, but for now, I have a need to talk about learning to “go for it” in life.  This past weekend, I took part in the very first step in teaching classical Pilates with a company called Power Pilates.  Despite the name, this is not some over-the-top-go-as-hard-as-you can workout.  It IS as physically and mentally challenging as you make it.

I love being active.  I also love reaching for a challenge.  I have lived through the Jane Fonda workouts, aerobics classes (WITH leg warmers), and shifted to weight training before it was the cool thing to do.  I have always mixed up my training with bikes and hikes and play.  When I lived alone (pre-Hubby) and “in town”, I discovered Pilates.  In Pilates, my muscles worked differently, and I found a different kind of strength.  The side bonus was that the chronic aches and pains that I learned to live with from years of abusing my body as a nurse (lifting patients back in the day did NOT include mechanical lift devices) faded away as my Pilates practice improved. 

Our home in the country is not close to my old Pilates studio, or any other Pilates studio.  My instructor/mentor/friend at Impel Pilates graciously provided me with a list of movements to do at home.  I bought DVDs to keep it interesting.  It was not the same as going to the studio, but it was something to keep me moving.

Fast forward.  I am retired (yeah, I love saying that!).  I am a personal trainer.  I have a home gym as well as a great gym “in town” to teach and train.  I have done some yoga, but was missing Pilates.  My at home Pilates practice dropped off as other things moved into my day to day.  My mind and my body have been missing it.  I started to think… maybe I could learn to teach Pilates? 

The process of exploring methods of teaching was exhausting.  There are SO many choices from online short programs to intensive programs with months of classes and internships, not to mention thousands of dollars.  I reached out to my mentor/instructor for her counsel and she pointed me towards Power Pilates.  The program is well respected, has a solid foundation, and broken down into manageable pieces.  I could start at the beginning, and grow as far as I choose. 

It all felt like the right thing to do.  I took the step forward.  It was a really BIG step forward.  I signed up for class! 

There.  Now I was committed.  No backing out, despite what my brain tried to tell me:  You are too old to start something new.  You are not fit enough to be a teacher.  You have not been doing enough Pilates to make it through the training.  You cannot possibly get through the learning process with “menopause brain” messing with your thought processes!  Oh the many ways “doubt” creeps in!

Last week, I got an email from the teacher-teacher with instructions and the location.  I did a quick map search.  The venue had changed from a suburb of Pittsburgh to another location.  Looking on the map… OH NO.  Panic set in.  I have to drive downtown. 

I am a country girl.  I like my dirt road.  I like slow paced life.  Those of you who have travelled with me know this about me.  There are a few of you reading this who have had me as a passenger in your car as we have sped through fast-paced traffic and you are smiling.  This scenario is a nightmare for me. 

I reached into my deepest self and started to talk to me.  I can do this.  I HAVE to do this. 

Friday afternoon came and I left home with plenty of time.  Traffic was moving OUT of the city, so there was much less to contend with driving in.  I listened to the voice on the GPS.  I was doing okay!  I was getting there!  I was closer and closer to “downtown”. I was only minutes from the studio!  Hurray!  I did it!

CRAP!  My anxiety shot through the roof.  Where do I park???

Fortunately, a big “P” sign caught my eye and I dove into the first parking garage I saw.  It had floors under construction.  Oh man.  I went from floor to floor.  Cars were parked on some levels.  Construction signs and equipment littered others.  I drove all nine levels to the top, as I could not get my brain settled to stop!  Thankfully, there were two construction workers at the top.  I rolled down my window, shared my sad story of the country girl who came to the city, and they were kind enough to direct me to a parking level and the way out.  Whew! 

I calmed myself, collected my things, and walked out of the garage onto the street.  I took a moment to knock the hayseeds out of my hair as I stared in awe of the immensity of it all.  I took a few moments to figure out where I was in relation to my destination.  It was a short walk and I celebrated my victory (internally so as not to draw attention to myself) as I opened the door of the studio.

The weekend was a whirlwind of learning.  Bookwork and lecture and practice…Lecture and practice…Practice and practice.  At the end of each day I was exhausted.  At the end of each day I felt as if I could not do it.  At the start of each day, I reached deep inside myself to remind myself that I wanted this.  I reached deep into my being and spoke to myself saying, “You CAN do this.” 

Through the support of a talented and patient teacher (Aubrey, at Moxie Mind and Body Pilates is a gift), I made it.  By reaching deep into myself and pushing onward, I made it.  I completed the weekend course and passed both the written and practical exams. 

No matter what, reaching is not always comfortable.  Whether it is reaching for something near, or seemingly far away, there is risk involved.  What if I fall?  What if I fail?   My weekend left me feeling elated and exhausted.  I am proud of myself for not giving up.  I am proud of myself for reaching for what I wanted and going for it!  My success gives me strength to keep reaching.

I am not too old to learn new things.  I am worth the reach!