I am sitting here on the weekend following Thanksgiving Thursday.  In reality, a holiday can linger for days after the event.   We all congregated at Mum’s for the event.  There were five adults and three kids.  Thanksgiving, like Christmas and Easter, is a “Three-Meat Holiday” in my family.   On the menu there is turkey, ham, and kielbasa.  Like every feast day celebrated by my family, there was enough food for a small village. 

I went to the feast with the food I was assigned:  sweet potatoes, fresh cranberry sauce, apple pie and pumpkin pie.  Like Mum, I love to cook and bake.  These feast days are an opportunity to share mad kitchen skills with others and we do not disappoint!  We were scheduled to eat around 2:00 PM, so I took my time early in the day preparing myself.

Most holidays, I shut “off” the healthy eating messages, and figure it is “just a day”, and go for it.  I “save myself” for the pending feast, not eating breakfast or lunch.  I hit the door hungry and I start eating.  Mum will have fresh dinner rolls warm from the oven, and I dive in.  A roll with butter, some fresh veggies from the tray, perhaps a bite or two of turkey or ham as it is carved and prepared for the table.  Just a bite of this or a bite of that… then it is time for dinner.  I do not overfill my plate, as I want to leave room for dessert.   An hour or so after dinner, I want to sample ALL of the dessert, so a sliver of this pie or that pie… and there is always room for Jello, right?

I leave the feast feeling stuffed.  Uncomfortable.   Ugh. 

This year, we shared thoughts about the holiday BEFORE it came about.  Coach Jen encouraged us to have a plan.  Eat regular, healthy meals before feasting.  Treat the feast as I would any other meal.  Enjoy the foods, but not to a point of feeling stuffed.  Take a bite at a time and savor it.  I felt ready for this holiday!

Thanksgiving morning, as I prepared my pies and side dishes, I ate my usual breakfast.  I sipped my coffee.  I did not feel hurried.  I kept thinking about how I was going to tackle the day by being ready for it.  I went out to the gym and rode my bike on the trainer for 25 minutes.  I smiled to myself, as it got closer to time to see my family.  I felt great!

When I arrived at Mum’s, the house smelled amazing.  I strolled in and unloaded my baskets.  I was starting to get hungry.  I looked around the kitchen at the food and thought about how I would prepare my plate.  I did not start eating before mealtime.  I thought to myself, “I’ve got this!”  As everyone arrived, the table was set, meat was carved, and the feast was ready!

I created my plate carefully.  I avoided things I do not love.  I avoided things that are more common.  No ham or kielbasa… a serving of turkey with a dollop of fresh cranberry sauce.  No mashed potatoes and gravy…small serving of sweet potatoes.  No bread stuffing… one of Mum’s delicious rolls instead.  I topped it all off with some raw veggies and a glass of red wine.  Perfect!

I savored the meal.  The distractions at the table were much stronger than I am used to, as a niece on one side and a nephew on the other flanked me, with one niece across the table, and with that, constant conversation.  I tried to remember to put my fork down, and use the conversation as a “break” in the meal.   I ate slower than I usually do, taking time to taste my food.  I finished the meal feeling full, but not stuffed.  Yay me!

Rather than jump right to dessert, we cleared the table.  Mum has no automated dishwasher, so I volunteered for that duty.  As the tables were cleared, Mum packaged up leftovers to share.  I had planned to avoid dessert until just before Hubby and I were ready to leave.  Dessert was served, and although I was not hungry.  As I reflect back, I had turned “off” all of my preparatory thoughts.  I was on autopilot. I fixed a plate with a small sliver of pumpkin pie and a piece of cinnamon roll.  No Jello.   FULL.

Hubby and I left the house with way more food that we needed.  We could have set another table for another family.  We had communicated with his parents earlier in the day and learned they were unable to attend their planned feast.  We decided to drive to their house to share our food with them.  We arrived, unloaded the food, and prepared plates for them and left food for another meal.  Despite the sharing, we still had food to take home. 

Here is where it gets interesting.  While having that food in the house, I continue to eat the food.  I sit here writing today, two days after the holiday, and I am not hungry.

What gives?  Old habits die hard.  I am used to taking food home when Mum offers.  I do not want to hurt her feelings.  If I DO say “no”, she says, Hubby might want it.  He says “yes”.  We bring the food home.  I do not want to throw food away as that is wasteful.  I think about what I can freeze for another day.  I see the sweet rolls.  I eat one.  Last night, we have leftovers for our meal.  I have turkey, and sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce.  And a sweet roll. 

I am not hungry.  All of the sugar reintroduced over the past few days kicks my cravings into high gear.  My gut is not happy with my choices.  I feel sluggish. 

I woke up today feeling like a giant, sluggish failure.  I allowed the feeling to come, then moved on.  I am not a failure.  I am human.  I am human with a long history of “feast habits” that I can change.  I will reconnect with my Strongest You community online today and get refocused on my healthy habits.  I will get out to the gym for a workout and push some weights.  Even though I cannot work “off” those calories, I can use the extra food in my body as fuel.

I feel refocused this morning and as I reflect, I see what I did well for this holiday and what I CAN do better for the next.  I CAN get back to my “Whole30” eating and make my body feel better.  I CAN clear out the refrigerator of the foods I am tempted to eat.  I DID throw away the last of the sweet rolls.  Sorry Mum, but I am too tempted to have them in the house… and I know you will have them at Christmas!