Hello sunshine!

How glorious to see the sun shining here in the country.  The yard is a mess given the snowmelt and Jaxon’s ability to make tracks as he tears through the soft ground enjoying the warmer weather.  He does not enjoy the cleanup after…nor do I.  I will suffer as the sunshine makes my heart glad.

I had a small budge in the scale this week.  I am resigned to the fact that progress is going to be slow.  I have used the time to do some reflecting on just what that means for me.  As I look back over the past two years, the inches were slow to come on so it is only natural that they will be slow to recede.  Given I am not 20 (or 30 or 40) anymore, the tides of recession are slow.  Such is life.  I can live with that.

It is time to focus on the gains rather than the losses.  I ask myself, what I have I GAINED over the past 11 weeks? 

• I have a larger wardrobe given there are more of my clothes that fit, and it did not cost me a penny. 
• I remember what it feels like to be hungry. 
• I have learned that a warm cup of herbal tea satisfies me, when before I would have searched the cupboards for a food-fix.
• I have learned to use things like reading a book, tying a fly, taking a photo walk, and playing with the dog to keep my mind occupied when my mind starts to wander to food thoughts when I am not hungry.
• I have gained strength AND flexibility through the use of yoga.
• I have been free from back pain and headaches.
• I have been free from indigestion.
• I come home from a restaurant meal with leftovers as I am eating proper portions.
• I have fewer cravings for unhealthy foods.
• When I treat myself to something sweet, I do not feel the need to over-indulge.

That is a long list!

As I read the list, I realize that all of those things have created a healthier me.  I have learned that I can change my habits one step at a time.  I realize that I do not miss the habits that were standing in my way.  Sure, I still think about a potato chip now and again.  I have decided I would prefer to have all of the good things listed above than a potato chip.  There is no reason to temp myself with something that does not offer something good to my healthier body.

I realize in working this process that “food habits” are not the only thing I have to gain.  I can build other habits in the same manner, as I did the addition of yoga.  I have started to tie flies again, just by adding a weekly tying session to my calendar.  I have added viewing a photography tutorial once a week.  I have been reading at least two days per week, for 30 minutes.  When I am riding the bike on the trainer, I have been listening to a blog or a TED Talk rather than music… just to broaden my horizons.

What else have I gained?

I feel more productive.  I feel a greater sense of self-satisfaction.  I have added more tools to my toolbox to handle those emotions labeled as “bad” with something other than food.  I like that trend and I will continue to add tools to the box and learn to work them skillfully.

Of course I am not perfect. There are still times that my “past self” tries to come front-and-center and start the dialogue of criticisms.   She is part of who I am and although I recognize her, she has less and less power over who I am today.  I still look at the scale and hear the voice say “You weigh too much”.  I am learning to use my tools to turn down the volume on that message and play something more useful. 

I am learning a new message. 

“You are FABULOUS!”

Do I always believe it?  Not yet!  But I am getting there.

I will jump back here to share my progress with you from time to time.  Now that I have started, I intend to keep moving forward.  This is not about getting to a destination; it is about living my life.  I am learning that the layers of who I am make me strong, in spite of my past-self calling them weaknesses or failures.  I have built an awesome foundation from which I will continue to grow.

Know what? 

My life is FABULOUS...and so am I.