The past few weeks I have had every intention of sitting down and putting my thoughts into words to share.  I have the thought.  I write “Blog” on my weekly calendar.  The week passes, and “Blog” remains unchecked.  My intentions are there… my follow through is lacking.  The result?  A week goes by without writing.  A month goes by…

I am a sucker for a fresh start.  There is something about a clean sheet of paper.  I delight when the laundry hampers are empty and the closet is full of freshly washed clothes.  Every Sunday I print a new weekly calendar, filling the days with the things I want to accomplish in the coming week.  There is something energizing about starting over.

New day.  New week.  New month.  New year. All of these “news” are opportunities for to start something new.  They are opportunities to reflect on things that are in progress and make decisions. I ask myself: Is this necessary? Is this bringing me joy?  Am I doing this as well as I am able?

Writing is something that brings me joy and comfort.  Sharing what is in my head allows me to reflect and gain insight into the workings of my brain. It also allow me to share my joys and struggles in hopes that it connects somewhere with someone else.  Perhaps someone reading this will feel someone else “gets it”.  You are not alone.  If something like writing brings me joy, why have so many weeks gone by without doing it?

With each “new”, I reflect back on the past.  What have I done well?  What can I do better?  What has kept me from the things I enjoy or things I really should be doing to take good care of me? What have I learned?  Yes, there are things that come up that are outside of my control.  Life happens, right?  Right!  But what about the things I CAN control… what am I doing about that?

There are a couple of things I have realized over the past few days of reflection in this New Year.  I am a creature of habit.  There are habits I have created that serve me well. I brush my teeth.  I drink a lovely cup of coffee every morning.  I make phone calls or send text messages to family and friends to stay connected.  I cook food.  I tend to Jaxon.  There is a much longer list.  I do these things every single day.  I make choices about them every single day.  Habit.

What about things like writing my blog?   Taking photos?  Tying flies? Exercise?  Sitting to read?  They are not things I necessarily intend to do every day.  They are things I enjoy.  Where do I get off track?  Here is what I have learned about me.  I can multitask!  I have been applauded for being able to juggle.  I can keep plates spinning with ease!  Yay me!  Right? Maybe not.

There are certainly times when multiple things happen at once and require some skill to navigate, like cooking a meal or coordinating a project.  There are other times when all that is required is attention to the task at hand.  It seems it is during those times that I start layering.  

Here is an example. Today is the day I am going to write my blog.  I am sitting at the computer.  I check in on Facebook when I start write my blog.  Want to guess what happens?  I get caught up in the Facebook feed and my blog page stays blank.  Time passes.  Oops! Time to take Jaxon out.  No blog today.  

I also realize that there are times that I allow comfort to drive my decisions.  I need to exercise regularly to keep my body feeling as good as it can feel.  There are many times, that I do not WANT to exercise.  It is cold outside.  It is dark outside in the morning.  I start to rationalize my way out of a workout, into something much more comfortable. It is so easy to do!  The chatter in my head gets so loud.  The house is so nice and warm. 

It is in those moments that I make a choice to get uncomfortable.  It is not motivation. It is not some magical willpower that sends me leaping with joy to get my workout done.  It is having created a habit of changing my clothes and checking my workout list for the week that moves me to strength training or the bike trainer or treadmill or yoga or Pilates.  It is a commitment to myself for X number of minutes for that day.  

This New Year, I am working to simplify my day to day.  I am using technology to help rather than hinder.  I have added an app to my phone that chimes every hour on the hour between 7:00 AM and 9:00 PM.  The sound reminds me to stop the chatter in my head and focus.  It reminds me to center in on the one thing I need to be doing at that point in time.  

I am continuing to use my weekly calendar to keep track of the things I HAVE to do as well as the things I WANT to do.  I am setting limits for my time on social media to be sure I have time to do things like read, take photos, tie flies, and write.  I want to have time to learn and grow.

I am using this “new” to write all of this down to make it real.  Although I am struggling to sit and write, I am sitting with my discomfort, knowing the accomplishment of getting it done will bring me joy.   I am using this “new” to make me a bit better, a bit wiser.

I hope you find what you need in your “new”.