I enjoy watching rebirth of the sleeping world in springtime.  Although there are still spots of snow in the yard at the homestead, the tips of the trees are starting to swell into buds, and the bird song has started to shift to a new melody.  Spring is a magical time.

As the seasons shift, I start to change my focus.  Spring-cleaning, although it seems ongoing, takes on new fervor.  I want to rid my environment of that which is stale and old, and create more space for growth.  It does not mean that I want to go out and buy more things… it seems this year I am happy for the empty space on a shelf, or the new room in a drawer or closet.  There is more room to breathe.

I am cleaning out the space in myself as well.  I have been reading things that nourish me spiritually and emotionally.  I am working on shifting my focus.  I realize more and more that where I choose to focus is my reality.  I am learning that I write the story of my life.  I cannot choose the circumstances that present to me, but I can choose how I react.

I remember when I was a child how amazing the world seemed to be.  Life was about exploration and learning.  I examined blades of grass, clover, insects, tree bark, and clouds.  Sure, there were influences by family and society at large.  However, as a child, there was always hope and imagination and the willingness to look beyond what seemed most obvious.  I could be whatever I wanted to be.  Somewhere in the responsibilities of adulthood, much of that got pushed aside.  The closet of my life became jam-packed with so much stuff and squeezed me into a corner.

In the corner of my closet, I sat still, surrounded by “stuff”.   I used that small space and honed myself into what I though I was supposed to be.  Over the past couple of months, I found myself trying to define myself by old things hanging in my closet.  Those things did not seem to fit right anymore.  Rather than force myself back into that corner, I have decided to clean the closet.  I realize that then and now, I am exactly who I am supposed to be.  I know that I serve a unique purpose, even if I struggle with defining it with words.  I know I can still choose to look at the world with the same wonder as I did years before. 

I can choose to be a heroine.  I can choose to be a victim.  I can choose to be a warrior.  I can choose to be “stuck”.  I can choose to work harder to get where I want to be.   My life.  My choices. As I continue my mental spring-cleaning, I have more room to spread out and be myself.

I recognize today that I need to take time each day to appreciate who I am.  There is only one of me.  I am unique.  I have a gift to give just by being me.  I have strengths and weaknesses that make up who I am and how I interact with the world around me.    Although I am constantly trying to improve myself and teach myself to grow as a person, I am enough, just as I am. 

Yes, I fall down.  Yes, I have scars.  Yes, I eat cake.  Yes, I get scared.  Yes, I cry.  I also laugh.  I laugh out loud.  I smile at small things.  I marvel when an eagle flies overhead.  I sit mesmerized when a dragonfly darts through the air.  I stop to stare into the sky to see the clouds or a rainbow.  I walk through mud.  I let my dog sleep in bed beside me.  I smile and say hello to people I do not know.

As I clean the house this spring, I am creating more space.  The space takes less time and energy to maintain with less “stuff”.  The same holds true for the space in my mental closet.  I like letting go of those things that no longer fit.  I like throwing away those things that get in my way.  I like the space and how the more I clear away, the more room there is for light and energy that allows me to reach out and embrace my life.

It is springtime.  Like the trees, I too am growing in new directions.  I am making choices that nourish me and let me be all I can be.  I am grateful for who I am JUST as I am.

I am throwing open the closet door and letting in the light of a new day.

I am enough.