This past weekend I took a road trip to visit an old friend.  It was a long drive up to the Adirondacks of New York.  Despite the many miles, it was a relatively easy drive.   Despite the incessant rain, it was a fantastic visit.  There was no fishing, no hiking, and no camping.  However, it was a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with my friend.

Time passes.  Life happens.  If we are lucky, we wander through it with a few friends who accept us exactly as we are, and we them.  I am so blessed to have people in my world that are exactly that type of friend.

Taking a trip like that gave me plenty of time to reflect.  I realized that in the moments shared with special people, there is no time to be self-critical.  I love the following passage on self-judgment by Ram Dass shared with me from my friend in Low Places:

“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees.  And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.  And you look at the tree and you allow it.

You see why it is the way it is.  You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way.  And you don’t get all emotional about it.  You just allow it.  You appreciate the tree.  The minute you get near humans, you lose all of that. That judging mind comes in.  You are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’  That judgement mind comes in.  And so I practice turning people into trees.  Which means I appreciate them just the way they are.” 

I love trees.  I love all kinds of trees.  My favorites are pine trees, which is why the Giant Sequoias in California were such an incredible sight to behold.  In the Adirondacks, despite the foliage being a bit behind what is happening in my neck of the woods, I smiled when I looked at the trees.  There is a stark contrast between the bright white birch bark and the dark evergreens.  The trees on the ground, in different states of decay, have a story to tell.  Many of those old, dead trees are now home to small critters, or supporting other life such as moss or lichens.  It all has purpose.  It is truly beautiful.

I find that I look at everyone around me like a tree.   Some trees I like better than others.  It is the same thing with people, right?  Despite my personal feelings, each person has something to offer.  Each person has a potential.  As Dass says, I appreciate people just the way they are…

Except for the person I see in the mirror. 

In the mirror, I see each crooked branch.  I get lost in self-criticism.  On my journey, there was a break in the rain and I took a walk in the quiet of the wilderness.  I looked at the trees.  I started to look at my old pattern of finding fault with myself and made a conscious effort to change my message.  I looked at my ability to walk among the trees.  I listened to a kingfisher cry out as it flew along the river.  I felt the softness of the ground below me, littered with pine needles and fallen leaves. 

As I walked, I enjoyed just being in that place, grateful for the friend that was willing to share that piece of solitude with me.  As I walked, I talked to myself, and replaced my criticisms with praise.  I applauded myself for making a journey and giving myself an opportunity to reconnect with my friend.  I patted myself on the back for being able to climb the hill from the river with ease.  I smiled at myself for remembering to take my camera and capture some images along the way.  I realize how much energy I have wasted on my criticisms, and feel a new energy in accepting myself just as I am.

Acceptance does not mean I will stop taking care of myself.  I enjoy my journey of self-improvement and the sense of balance I feel when I am running on all cylinders.  Acceptance means that I am happy with me, no matter what.  I just am.

Today, I too am a tree.