I have found myself in a bit of an energy slump over the past couple of weeks.  I am getting through the things I have to do, but when done with the “must dos”, I would rather curl up with Jaxon and a book rather than tackle some of the “want to dos” on my list.  It is February.  

Even as I sit to write today, my mind is pulling me in many directions, rather than focus on the task at hand.  There is murky water all around… at least that is how I feel.  I have learned to allow these feelings to come, no longer worrying whether or not I will emerge.  I will.

I realize that February is a tough month for me.  I love the changes in season that western Pennsylvania brings, but winter is my least favorite.  The shorter days, cold temperatures, and lack of daily sunshine work on my psyche and pull me towards a den of hibernation.  February, although it is the shortest month, becomes the most difficult to get through the days feeling energized and productive.  Movement helps, so riding my bike on the trainer or even running on the treadmill (ugh) are moments where I visualize being outside feeling the warm sun on my face.  Ahhh… spring.

This week I have spent more time thinking about my dad than usual.  We would have been celebrating his birthday on February 22nd. I still celebrate his life.  I still get sad when I think about him no longer being here, but have learned that the sadness is not permanent.  There was too much joy in our relationship to have sadness remain. 

My parents were truly amazing.  There were times where money was scarce, but they never allowed us to know anything other than having enough.  We had each other.  We had dinners at the table with time to talk to each other and we had plenty to eat. We shared our day.  Yes, it was a simpler time, but I believe that if we were growing up now, my parents would have assured that those evening meals happened just as they did back then.  My favorite part of the day?  Each night my brother and I were tucked into our beds and were told we were loved.  

Bottom line?  Some days in life are just harder to navigate than others.  And that is okay.   These are the days I am grateful to be able to tap in to the energy of family and friends who will share a kind word, laughter, daily thoughts, or even a joined sense of sadness to remind me that I am not alone.  What an amazing gift, my tribe.  

There are only eight more days in February.  In writing this, I am purging my spirit of the cold darkness, and allowing room for the light. I am destined to always be the “glass half full” person.  I will embrace my hygge for the remaining February days (thank you Denmark!).  

Most importantly, I will continue to remain “plugged in” to my tribe.  I will reach out to those near and far.  I will love and be loved.  I will create a warm space for myself by wrapping myself in the gift of friendship, and family who were my first friends. 

February, thank you for the clarity today.